In the aftermath of infidelity, couples often struggle with emotional turmoil and sometimes make decisions they later regret. Based on the combined insight of leading marital therapists and researchers, this book helps them overcome the initial shock, understand what happened and why, and think clearly about their best interests before they act.
Discovering that a partner has been unfaithful hits you like an earthquake. Long after the first jolt, emotional aftershocks can make it difficult to be there for your family, manage your daily life, and think clearly about your options. Whether you want to end the relationship or piece things back together, Getting Past the Affair guides you through the initial trauma so you can understand what happened and why before deciding how to move forward. Based on the only program that’s been tested--and proven--to relieve destructive emotions in the wake of infidelity, this compassionate book offers support and expert advice from a team of award-winning couple therapists. If you stay with your spouse, you’ll find realistic tips for rebuilding your marriage and restoring trust. But no matter which path you choose, you’ll discover effective ways to recover personally, avoid lasting scars, and pursue healthier relationships in the future. Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) Self-Help Book of Merit
Discovering that a partner has been unfaithful hits you like an earthquake. Long after the first jolt, emotional aftershocks can make it difficult to be there for your family, manage your daily life, and think clearly about your options. Whether you want to end the relationship or piece things back together, Getting Past the Affair guides you through the initial trauma so you can understand what happened and why before deciding how to move forward. Based on the only program that's been tested--and proven--to relieve destructive emotions in the wake of infidelity, this compassionate book offers support and expert advice from a team of award-winning couple therapists. If you stay with your spouse, you'll find realistic tips for rebuilding your marriage and restoring trust. But no matter which path you choose, you'll discover effective ways to recover personally, avoid lasting scars, and pursue healthier relationships in the future. Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) Self-Help Book of Merit
From leading marital therapists and researchers, this unique book presents a three-stage therapy approach for clinicians working with couples struggling in the aftermath of infidelity. The book provides empirically grounded strategies for helping clients overcome the initial shock, understand what happened and why, think clearly about their best interests before they act, and move on emotionally, whether or not they ultimately reconcile. The volume is loaded with vivid clinical examples and carefully designed exercises for use both during sessions and at home. The book will be invaluable to clinicians who treat couples, including couple and family therapists and counselors, clinical psychologists, social workers, pastoral counselors, and psychiatrists. It may also serve as a supplemental text in graduate-level courses.
One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
A Guide to Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy It's devastating to discover that the person you trust the most has betrayed you. You'll be facing some hard questions after learning of your partner's infidelity. You may choose to rebuild your relationship, or you may decide to move on. Whatever the right decision is for you, this book will help you figure out why your partner betrayed you and decide whether you can remain in your relationship. It will also show you new ways to relate that can help you and your partner become a lasting, loving, and committed couple. You'll start by taking a look at the phenomenon of infidelity and the three types of intimacy: self-intimacy, conflict intimacy, and affection intimacy. Then you'll learn about the three kinds of infidelity—those of fear, of loneliness, and of anger—and what each reveals about your relationship. Then it's on to practical exercises that can heal emotional wounds and enable you to recover your ability to trust. Even if you decide not to remain with your current partner, the book will help you make wise relationship choices to "affair-proof" your future relationship.
Sexuality in Adolescence considers the latest theory and research on adolescent development, focusing on sexuality as a vital aspect of normal, healthy maturation. Biological changes are discussed within a social context, and the latest research is presented on key issues of our time, including changes in teenage sexual behaviours and beliefs, sexual risk-taking, body dissatisfaction, sex education, teen pregnancy and abortion. Susan Moore and Doreen Rosenthal explore the roles of parents, peers, the media, social institutions and youth culture in adolescent sexual adjustment. This volume covers topical issues ranging from the role of the internet in adolescent romance to the pros and cons of abstinence education versus harm minimization. Issues, such as whether there are male-female differences in desire, sexuality, motives for sex, and beliefs about romance are examined, along with the question of whether a sexual double standard still exists. Maladaptive aspects of sexual development, including sexual risk-taking, disease, unplanned pregnancy, and sexual coercion are also covered. This fully revised and updated second edition also addresses the crucial issues of: sexual minority adolescents the social determinants of adolescent sexuality sexual health as opposed to sexual illness. This book aims to promote sexual well-being, and argues for the importance of the adolescent period as a time for engendering healthy sexual attitudes and practices. It will be valuable reading for students in the social and behavioural sciences interested in adolescent development and the topic of sexuality, and for professionals working with young people.
Imagine if we treated broken hearts with the same respect and concern we have for broken arms? Psychologist Guy Winch urges us to rethink the way we deal with emotional pain, offering warm, wise, and witty advice for the broken-hearted. Real heartbreak is unmistakable. We think of nothing else. We feel nothing else. We care about nothing else. Yet while we wouldn’t expect someone to return to daily activities immediately after suffering a broken limb, heartbroken people are expected to function normally in their lives, despite the emotional pain they feel. Now psychologist Guy Winch imagines how different things would be if we paid more attention to this unique emotion—if only we can understand how heartbreak works, we can begin to fix it. Through compelling research and new scientific studies, Winch reveals how and why heartbreak impacts our brain and our behavior in dramatic and unexpected ways, regardless of our age. Emotional pain lowers our ability to reason, to think creatively, to problem solve, and to function at our best. In How to Fix a Broken Heart he focuses on two types of emotional pain—romantic heartbreak and the heartbreak that results from the loss of a cherished pet. These experiences are both accompanied by severe grief responses, yet they are not deemed as important as, for example, a formal divorce or the loss of a close relative. As a result, we are often deprived of the recognition, support, and compassion afforded to those whose heartbreak is considered more significant. Our heart might be broken, but we do not have to break with it. Winch reveals that recovering from heartbreak always starts with a decision, a determination to move on when our mind is fighting to keep us stuck. We can take control of our lives and our minds and put ourselves on the path to healing. Winch offers a toolkit on how to handle and cope with a broken heart and how to, eventually, move on.
Never say never; because just when you think your marriage is safe from adultery is when you may be the most vulnerable. Dave Carder, counselor, author of the bestselling Torn Asunder (100,000 in print), and a sought-after expert on issues of adultery. Now, with eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data, he reveals what adulterers learned the hard way- and want the rest of us to know. For example, every spouse has a "Dangerous Partner Profile" of the kind of person who tempts them. Close Calls should be on every church leader's and marriage counselor's required reading list. Includes charts and assessments.
EXPERT ADVICE ON PERSONAL GROWTH AND DECISION-MAKING FOR DEEPER THINKERS WHO WANT MORE THAN AFFIRMATIONS AND CLICHES Your stress, anxiety and negative thoughts are huge obstacles to happiness. You must learn to make healthy decisions and place your needs first. This book, The Overwhelmed Brain, provides proven methodologies for smarter, actionable ways to: •Be true to yourself •Build positive relationships •Overcome stress and anxiety •Stop self-sabotage •Make smart decisions •Rise above your fears With tips, anecdotes, exercises and expert advice from popular life coach and podcaster Paul Colaianni, The Overwhelmed Brain will empower you to take control over your emotional well-being and act on your dreams, goals and values.
Infidelity is common, occurring in over half of all marriages. And it is one of life's most painful experiences for everyone involved--the betrayed spouse, the children, the extended family members, and even the lover and wayward spouse. With all that sadness, why do people have affairs? And once trust is broken, how can a couple reconcile? In Surviving an Affair, Drs. Harley and Chalmers describe the most common types of affairs, the reasons they begin and end, the best way to end them, and the best way to restore a marriage after an affair. But most importantly, they help readers survive the ordeal by providing them with step-by-step guidance that minimizes suffering and offers hope for rebuilding a loving and trusting marital relationship.
A Wonderfully Supportive Guide from an Internationally Recognized Authority on Affairs "Emily Brown has written a must-read book for anyone going through the searing pain of infidelity. First she deciphers the five types of affairs, then she gives clear step-by-step procedures to help both partners deal with it and even grow from it. It's a real achievement." --Marguerite Kelly, syndicated columnist, The Family Almanac and author, Marguerite Kelly's Family Almanac "Finally, a book on affairs that pulls no punches!. . . . It's the book I'll put at the top of my list to recommend to both professionals and to husbands, wives, and lovers. Highly recommended."-Isolina Ricci, author, Mom's House, Dad's House: The Complete Guide for Parents Who Are Separated, Divorced, or Remarried
After the Affair teaches partners how to heal themselves and grow from the shattering crisis of an infidelity. Drawing on thirty-five years as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Spring offers a series of original and proven strategies that address such questions as: * Why did it happen? * Once love and trust are gone, can we ever get them back? * Can I—should I—recommit when I feel so ambivalent? * How do we become sexually intimate again? * Is forgiveness possible? * What constitutes an affair in cyberspace?
Statistics show that one in every four marriages is impacted by infidelity. So the odds are pretty good that you or someone you know has experienced the searing pain of marital infidelity. But adultery is not an automatic death sentence for your marriage. You can trust again. You can restore intimacy. You can have a relationship that you will both cherish for a lifetime. Ten years ago, Gary and Mona Shriver experienced the devastation caused by adultery, and in the course of trying to save themselves, they wrote this book. Raw, transparently honest, the Shrivers’ story alone is an inspiration, offering hope and practical strategies for healing. Now this updated and revised edition adds other real-life stories of betrayal and forgiveness, and new information defining adultery, including the destruction of emotional affairs. Some doubt if a marriage can truly heal after the ravages of infidelity. Unfaithful proves you can. It’s not easy . . . but it can be done. Is it worth it? Yes. And you hold the first step—and hope—in your hand.
Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
“That night I did something I had never done before: I went into his email account. I felt terrible doing this behind his back, but what I found devastated me……” So begins the story of one woman's discovery of her husband's affair and its aftermath. Her absorbing story of emotional survival is complemented by advice direct from top legal, investigative, financial and counseling professionals on how to handle this if it happens to you. It shares how many famous (and not so famous) women dealt with infidelity and divorce. The book also deals with the big “was it me?” question asked by so many women (and men) whose marriages or relationships come to an unplanned, unexpected end due to infidelity.In this book you will learn: How to tell if you are about to be dumped How to become your own detectiveWhat you must do before you confront your spouse Why men cheat on even the most loving and beautiful women How to get a divorce even if you are brokeHow to act before, during and after court How to handle the emotions of divorce Helping your children go through a divorce, How to stay financially solvent How to deal with depression, heartbreak & lonelinessHow to find new relationshipsHow to create your own best future“I wish I'd had this when the bottom fell out for me….any woman in this situation should give this book a read.” K D., Director, Grassroots & Media Advocacy, American Heart Association, Mid-Atlantic Affiliate
When it comes to adultery, never say, “It won’t happen to me.” Just when you think your marriage is safe from adultery is when you may be the most vulnerable. With eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data, Dave Carder reveals what adulterers learned the hard way—and what they want the rest of us to know to save us the pain. Dave Carder, counselor and author of the bestselling Torn Asunder (100,000 in print), is a sought-after expert on issues of adultery. Here he helps you make your marriage adultery-proof by showing you: How attractions can lead to affairs Ways you may be vulnerable to affairs The common ingredients of adultery How to restore intimacy to your marriage How to make wise, protective decisions Marriage is too sacred to be taken casually. Affairs are a very real threat, and they can destroy lives and families. For this reason, Anatomy of an Affair should be on every church leader’s and marriage counselor’s required reading list, and in the home of every married couple. Includes charts and assessments to understand and guard against affairs. This book is the revised edition of Close Calls (2008)
Have you been traumatized by infidelity? The phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Using PTSD treatment as a model, Dr. Ortman will show you, step by step, how to: • work through conflicting emotions • Understand yourself and your partner • Make important life decisions Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling, and explores heart-wrenchingly familiar case studies of couples struggling with monogamy. By the end of this book, you will have completed the six stages of healing and emerged with a whole heart, a full spirit, and the freedom to love again. From the Trade Paperback edition.
More than a million couples can’t be wrong! And with this updated edition of their award-winning book, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott help you launch lifelong love like never before. This is more than a book—it’s an experience, especially when you use the his/her workbooks filled with more than 40 fun exercises. Get ready for deeper intimacy with the best friend you’ll ever have. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, in more than 15 languages, is the most widely used marriage prep tool in the world. Uncover the misbeliefs of marriage Learn to communicate with instant understanding Discover the secret to resolving conflict Master the skills of money management Get your sex life off to a great start A compelling video, featuring real-life couples, is available, and with this updated edition Les and Leslie unveil the game-changing SYMBIS Assessment. Now you can discover how to leverage your personalities for a love that last a lifetime. Make your marriage everything it is meant to be. Save your marriage—before (and after) it starts.