Parentless Parents is the first book to show how the absence of grandparents impacts everything about the way mothers and fathers raise their children--from everyday parenting decisions to the relationships they have with their spouses and in-laws. For the first time in U.S. history, as the average age of women giving birth has increased significantly, millions of children are at risk of having fewer years with their grandparents than ever before. How has this substantial shift affected parents and kids? Journalist, award-winning television producer, and parentless parent Allison Gilbert has polled and studied more than 1,300 parentless parents from across the United States and a dozen other countries to find out. Through her pioneering research, Gilbert not only shares her own story and the significant and poignant effect that this trend has had on her and hundreds of other families, but also the myriad ways these mothers and fathers have learned to keep the memory of their parents alive for their children, and to find the support and understanding they need.
According to a recent U.S. census, approximately 2.5 million children under the age of eighteen have experienced the death of a parent. Losing a parent at such a young age can have devastating consequences. Beyond the grief children and young adults experience, they can be at risk for many negative outcomes, including depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress symptoms, as well as diminished self-esteem. Their academic success and relationships with others can also be adversely affected. For these young adults, help is not always easy to find. In Parental Death: The Ultimate Teen Guide, Michelle Shreeve offers a variety of ways in which young people can cope with this tough experience. In addition to outlining the universal difficulties of losing a parent, the author also points out the unique dynamics of specific losses--sons who lose fathers, daughters who lose mothers, sons who lose mothers, and daughters who lose fathers—and what those losses can mean for their future development. This book also identifies how the challenges of life without a parent can affect a young adult at different stages. Featuring real stories and quotes from teens about their experiences, this book shows young adults a variety of views about the death of a parent, and provides coping strategies that young people can call upon to help them through this difficulty. Parental Death: The Ultimate Teen Guide serves as a valuable resource for all teens, whether they are dealing with tragedy personally or are looking for ways to console friends or siblings.
Passed and Present is a one-of-a-kind guide for discovering creative and meaningful ways to keep the memory of loved ones alive. Inspiring and imaginative, this bona fide "how-toÓ manual teaches us how to remember those we miss most, no matter how long theyÕve been gone. Passed and Present is not about sadness and grievingÑit is about happiness and remembering.Ê It is possible to look forward, to live a rich and joyful life, while keeping the memory of loved ones alive. This much-needed, easy-to-use roadmap shares 85 imaginative ways to celebrate and honor family and friends we never want to forget. Chapter topics include: Repurpose With Purpose:Ê Ideas for transforming objects and heirlooms.Ê Discover ways to reimagine photographs, jewelry, clothing, letters, recipes Ñvirtually any inherited item or memento. Use Technology:Ê Strategies for your daily, digital life.Ê Opportunities for using computers, scanners, printers, apps, mobile devices, and websites. Not Just Holidays:Ê Tips for remembrance any time of year, day or night, whenever you feel that pull Ñ be it a loved oneÕs birthday, an anniversary, or just a moment when a memory catches you by surprise. Monthly Guide:Ê Christmas, Thanksgiving, MotherÕs Day, FatherÕs Day, and other special times of year present unique challenges and opportunities. This chapter provides exciting ideas for making the most of them while keeping your loved oneÕs memory alive. Places to Go: Destinations around the world where reflecting and honoring loved ones is a communal activity.Ê This concept is called Commemorative Travel.Ê Also included are suggestions for incorporating aspects of these foreign traditions into your practices at home. Being proactive about remembering loved ones has a powerful and unexpected benefit:Ê it can make you happier.Ê The more we incorporate memories into our year-round lives Ñas opposed to sectioningÊ them off to a particular time of yearÑthe more we can embrace the people who have passed, and all thatÕs good and fulfilling in our present.Ê Ê With beautiful illustrations throughout by artist Jennifer Orkin Lewis, Passed and Present includes an introduction by Hope Edelman, bestselling author of Motherless Daughters.
While the death of a parent is always painful, losing both is life-altering. When author Allison Gilbert lost both parents at age 32, she could not find any books that spoke to her with the same level of compassion and reassurance that she found in the support group she belonged to, so she decided to write one of her own. The result is a sensitive and candid portrayal of loss that brings together experiences from famous and ordinary grief-stricken sons and daughters that explores the regrets, heartache and sometimes, relief, that accompanies pain and healing. Always Too Soon provides a range of intimate conversations with those — famous and not — who have lost both parents, providing readers with a source of comfort and inspiration as they learn to negotiate their new place in the world. Contributors include Hope Edelman, Geraldine Ferraro, Dennis Franz, Barbara Ehrenreich, Yogi Berra, Rosanne Cash, and Ice-T, as well as those who lost parents to the Oklahoma City bombing, the World Trade Center bombings, drunk driving, and more.
COVERING CATASTROPHE is filled with dramatic first-hand accounts from many of the biggest names in broadcast journalism, as well as local reporters who were on the front lines of the September 11 terrorist attacks in New York, Washington, D.C., and Pennsylvania. Their surprisingly candid comments provide rare insight into the most terrifying news story of our time. Contributors include: Tom Brokaw, Peter Jennings, Dan Rather, Aaron Brown, and many more.
This wise and funny book presents a revolutionary yet highly practical approach to childcare: leave them alone. "The Idle Parent came as a huge relief to the whole family. Suddenly, it was okay to leave the kids to sort it out among themselves. Suddenly, it was okay to be responsibly lazy. This is the most counterintuitive but most helpful and consoling child-raising manual I've yet read."--Alain de Botton, author of The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work and The Consolations of Philosophy "The most easy-to-follow-without-being-made-to-feel-inadequate parenting manifesto ever written . . . A godsend to parents."--The Sunday Times "Add liberal doses of music, jovial company and deep woods to play in--all central to the idle, not to say Taoist, life--and you have a recipe for bright, happy people with need of neither television nor shrink. Who could ask for more?"--The Evening Standard In The Idle Parent, the author of The Freedom Manifesto and How to Be Idle applies his trademark left-of-center theories of idleness to what can be one of the thorniest aspects of adult life: parenting. Many parents today spend a whole lot of time worrying and wondering--frantically "helicoptering" over their children with the hope that they might somehow keep (or make?) them flawless. But where is this approach to childcare getting us? According to Hodgkinson, in our quest to give our kids everything, we fail to give them the two things they need most: the space and time to grow up self-reliant, confident, happy, and free. In this smart and hilarious book, Hodgkinson urges parents to stop worrying and instead start nurturing the natural instincts toward creativity and independence that are found in every child. And the great irony: in doing so, we will find ourselves becoming happier and better parents.
“I shouldn’t have to tell him that again!” “She is just so spoiled.” “They don’t appreciate anything I do for them.” Do you feel like you’re at the end of your rope? Are you exhausted by your kids arguing over every little thing? Finally there’s a name for your feelings: “Parent Frustration Syndrome” (PFS). No kid is perfect, but parents often don’t realize just how much their own thoughts, rather than their children’s behavior, contribute to being emotionally overwhelmed and discouraged. In Liking the Child You Love, Renowned psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein offers proven strategies for taming the 9 most common toxic thought patterns that stop us from parenting effectively: • The “Always or Never” Trap • Label Gluing • Seething Sarcasm • Smoldering Suspicions • Detrimental Denial • Emotional Overheating • Blame Blasting • “Should” Slamming • Dooming Conclusions As you identify and put a stop to PFS’s negative thought patterns, you’ll be amazed at how your kids’ defiant behavior quickly improves, without having to raise your voice or dole out harsh punishments. Soon you will have a closer, calmer, and more loving relationship with your kids—just by changing your own mindset.
Examines the impact of a parent's death on all aspects of life, exploring its influence on relationships with family and friends and explaining how such an event provides an opportunity to redefine one's self-identity.
Kate Spencer lost her mom to cancer when she was 27. In The Dead Moms Club, she walks readers through her experience of stumbling through grief and loss, and helps them to get through it, too. This isn't a weepy, sentimental story, but rather a frank, up-front look at what it means to go through gruesome grief and come out on the other side. An empathetic read, The Dead Moms Club covers how losing her mother changed nearly everything in her life: both men and women readers who have lost parents or experienced grief of this magnitude will be comforted and consoled. Spencer even concludes each chapter with a cheeky but useful tip for readers (like the "It's None of Your Business Card" to copy and hand out to nosy strangers asking about your passed loved one).
A groundbreaking guide to raising responsible, capable, happy kids Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish. This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years. If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.
A NEW YORK TIMES NOTABLE BOOK How much credit do parents deserve when their children turn out welt? How much blame when they turn out badly? Judith Rich Harris has a message that will change parents' lives: The "nurture assumption" -- the belief that what makes children turn out the way they do, aside from their genes, is the way their parents bring them up -- is nothing more than a cultural myth. This electrifying book explodes some of our unquestioned beliefs about children and parents and gives us a radically new view of childhood. Harris looks with a fresh eye at the real lives of real children to show that it is what they experience outside the home, in the company of their peers, that matters most, Parents don't socialize children; children socialize children. With eloquence and humor, Judith Harris explains why parents have little power to determine the sort of people their children will become. The Nurture Assumption is an important and entertaining work that brings together insights from psychology, sociology, anthropology, primatology, and evolutionary biology to offer a startling new view of who we are and how we got that way.
Losing our parents when we ourselves are adults is in the natural order of things, a rite of passage into true adulthood. But whether we lose them suddenly or after a prolonged illness, and whether we were close to or estranged from them, this passage proves inevitably more difficult than we thought it would be. A much-needed and knowledgeable discussion of this adult phenomenon, The Orphaned Adult validates the wide array of disorienting emotions that can accompany the death of our parents by sharing both the author's heart-felt experience of loss and the moving stories of countless adults who have shared their losses with him. From the recognition of our own mortality and sudden child-like sorrow to a sometimes-subtle change in identity or shift of roles in the surviving family, The Orphaned Adult guides readers through the storm of change this passage brings and anchors them with its compassionate and reassuring wisdom.
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what Chinese parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it... Amy Chua's daughters, Sophia and Louisa (Lulu) were polite, interesting and helpful, they were two years ahead of their classmates in maths and had exceptional musical abilities. But Sophia and Lulu were never allowed to attend a sleepover, be in a school play, choose their own extracurricular activities, get any grade less than an A, and not be the #1 student in every subject (except gym and drama). And they had to practice their instruments for hours every day, as well as in school breaks and on family holidays. The Chinese-parenting model certainly seemed to produce results. But what happens when you do not tolerate disobedience and are confronted by a screaming child who would sooner freeze outside in the cold than be forced to play the piano? In Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Amy Chua relates her experiences raising her children the 'Chinese way', and how dutiful, patient Sophia flourished under the regime and how tenacious, hot-tempered Lulu rebelled. It is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. It's also about Mozart and Mendelssohn, the piano and the violin, and how they made it to Carnegie Hall. It was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how you can be humbled by a thirteen-year-old. Witty, entertaining and provocative, this is a unique and important book that will transform your perspective of parenting forever.
A guide to living life to the fullest after you have lost your parents. It seeks to help people to move beyond grief into the next stage of adult life, demonstrating how to turn a loss that one must accept into a possibility for growth and positive change. The author, Dr Shari Butler, explores the liberating effect the loss of our parents provides and teaches the reader how to understand this experience while releasing them from guilt. She provides exercises to help the reader cope with feeling sad, alone, scared, disconnected, guilty and/or remorseful, and presents a therapeutic plan to help discover and utilize a new kind of freedom.
You Can Start a Revolution in Your Family . . . Tonight ScreamFree Parenting is not just about lowering your voice. It’s about learning to calm your emotional reactions and learning to focus on your own behavior more than your kids’ behavior . . . for their benefit. Our biggest enemy as parents is not the TV, the Internet, or even drugs. Our biggest enemy is our own emotional reactivity. When we say we “lost it” with our kids, the “it” in that sentence is our own adulthood. And then we wonder why our kids have so little respect for us, why our kids seem to have all the power in the family. It’s time to do it differently. And you can. You can start to create and enjoy the types of calm, mutually respectful, and loving relationships with your kids that you’ve always craved. You can begin to revolutionize your family, starting tonight. Parenting is not about kids, it’s about parents. If you’re not in control, then you cannot be in charge. What every kid really needs are parents who are able to keep their cool no matter what. Easier said than done? Not anymore, thanks to ScreamFree Parenting, the principle-based approach that’s inspiring parents everywhere to truly revolutionize their family dynamics. Moving beyond the child-centered, technique-based approaches that ultimately fail, the ScreamFree way compels you to: focus on yourself calm yourself down, and grow yourself up By staying calm and connected with your kids, you begin to operate less out of your deepest fears and more out of your highest principles, revolutionizing your relationships in the process. ScreamFree Parenting is not just another parenting book. It’s the first parenting book that maintains—from beginning to end—that parenting is NOT about kids . . . it’s about parents. As parents pay more attention to controlling their own behavior instead of their kids’ behavior, the result is stronger, more rewarding, and more fulfilling family relationships. For those of you reading who are parents, know parents, or have had parents, the notion that the greatest thing you can do for your children is to learn to focus on yourself may sound strange, even heretical. It’s not. Here’s why: we are the only ones we can control. We cannot control our kids—we cannot control the behavior of any other human being. And yet, so many “experts” keep giving us more tools (“techniques”) to help us try to do just that. And, of course, the more we try to control, the more out of control our children become. “Don’t make me come up there.” “Don’t make me pull this car over.” “How many times do I have to tell you?” Even our language suggests that our kids have control over us. It’s no wonder that we end up screaming. Or shutting down. Or simply giving up. And the charts, refrigerator magnets, family meetings, and other techniques in most typical parenting books just don’t work. They end up making us feel more frustrated and more powerless in this whole parenting thing. This practical, effective guide for parents of all ages with kids of all ages introduces proven principles for overcoming the anxieties and stresses of parenting and setting new patterns of connection and cooperation. Well-written in an engaging, conversational tone, the book is sensible, straightforward, and based on the experiences of hundreds of actual families. It will help all parents become calming authorities in their homes, bring peace to their families today, and give kids what they need to grow into caring, self-directed adults tomorrow.
After studying to become a therapist and crisis intervention counselor—even doing her master’s thesis on the stages of bereavement—Christina Rasmussen thought she understood grief. But it wasn’t until losing her husband to cancer in her early 30s that she truly grasped the depths of sorrow and pain that accompany loss. Using the knowledge she gained while wading through her own grief and reading hundreds of neuroscience books, Rasmussen began to look at experiences in a new way. She realized that grief plunges you into a gap between worlds—the world before loss and the world after loss. She also realized how easy it is to become lost in this gap. In Second Firsts, Rasmussen walks you through her Life Reentry process to help you break grief’s spiral of pain, so you can stop simply surviving and begin to live again. She shows you that loss can actually be a powerful catalyst to creating a life that is in alignment with your true passions and values. The resilience, strength, and determination that have gotten you through this difficult time are the same characteristics that will help you craft your wonderful new life. Her method, which she has used successfully with thousands of clients, is based on the science of neuroplasticity and focuses on consciously releasing pain in ways that both honor suffering and rewire the brain to change your perception of the world and yourself. Using practical exercises and stories drawn from her own life and those of her clients, Rasmussen guides you through five stages of healing that help you open up to new possibilities. From acknowledging your fear, to recognizing where you stand now, to taking active steps toward a new life, Rasmussen helps you move past the pain and shows that it’s never too late to step out of the gap and experience life again—as if for the first time.
Passed and Present is a one-of-a-kind guide for discovering creative and meaningful ways to keep the memory of loved ones alive. Inspiring and imaginative, this bona fide "how-toÓ manual teaches us how to remember those we miss most, no matter how long theyÕve been gone. Passed and Present is not about sadness and grievingÑit is about happiness and remembering.Ê It is possible to look forward, to live a rich and joyful life, while keeping the memory of loved ones alive. This much-needed, easy-to-use roadmap shares 85 imaginative ways to celebrate and honor family and friends we never want to forget. Chapter topics include: Repurpose With Purpose:Ê Ideas for transforming objects and heirlooms.Ê Discover ways to reimagine photographs, jewelry, clothing, letters, recipes Ñvirtually any inherited item or memento. Use Technology:Ê Strategies for your daily, digital life.Ê Opportunities for using computers, scanners, printers, apps, mobile devices, and websites. Not Just Holidays:Ê Tips for remembrance any time of year, day or night, whenever you feel that pull Ñ be it a loved oneÕs birthday, an anniversary, or just a moment when a memory catches you by surprise. Monthly Guide:Ê Christmas, Thanksgiving, MotherÕs Day, FatherÕs Day, and other special times of year present unique challenges and opportunities. This chapter provides exciting ideas for making the most of them while keeping your loved oneÕs memory alive. Places to Go: Destinations around the world where reflecting and honoring loved ones is a communal activity.Ê This concept is called Commemorative Travel.Ê Also included are suggestions for incorporating aspects of these foreign traditions into your practices at home. Being proactive about remembering loved ones has a powerful and unexpected benefit:Ê it can make you happier.Ê The more we incorporate memories into our year-round lives Ñas opposed to sectioningÊ them off to a particular time of yearÑthe more we can embrace the people who have passed, and all thatÕs good and fulfilling in our present.Ê Ê With beautiful illustrations throughout by artist Jennifer Orkin Lewis, Passed and Present includes an introduction by Hope Edelman, bestselling author of Motherless Daughters.
If you're among the millions of grandparents raising grandchildren today, you need information, support, and practical guidance you can count on to keep your family strong. This is the book for you. Learn effective strategies to help you cope with the stresses of parenting the second time around, care for vulnerable grandkids and set boundaries with their often-troubled parents, and navigate the maze of government aid, court proceedings, and special education. Wise, honest, moving stories show how numerous other grandparents are surviving and thriving in their new roles. Updated throughout, and reflecting current laws and policies affecting families, the second edition features new discussions of kids' technology use and other timely issues.
We've needlessly turned parenting into an unpleasant chore. Parents invest more time and money in their kids than ever, but the shocking lesson of twin and adoption research is that upbringing is much less important than genetics in the long run. These revelations have surprising implications for how we parent and how we spend time with our kids. The big lesson: Mold your kids less and enjoy your life more. Your kids will still turn out fine. Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids is a book of practical big ideas. How can parents be happier? What can they change--and what do they need to just accept? Which of their worries can parents safely forget? Above all, what is the right number of kids for you to have? You'll never see kids or parenthood the same way again.

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