‘He played that so late, it was almost posthumous.’ (John Arlott) For over fifty years, Test Match Special has provided the soundtrack to many cricket fans’ lives – now this book collects its greatest hits. Here are all the witty sayings, bons mots, doubles entendres, wise words and priceless moments from the whole TMS team past and present, and of course their many and varied celebrity guests. Whether it’s classic Test moments or hilarious asides from the boundary, you’ll find the perfect line for every occasion. Collecting over half a century of quips and quotes, and beautifully illustrated throughout, The Wit and Wisdom of Test Match Special is a cricket fan’s indispensable guide to bats, bowls, beards and bakes.
Collecting hundreds of quips and quotes, and beautifully illustrated throughout, The Test Match Special Book of Cricket Quotes is a cricket fan’s indispensable guide to bats, beards, boundaries and bowls. From witty sayings and wise words, to doubles entendres, and legendary moments from cricketing history, you’ll find the perfect line for every occasion. ‘I've never got to the bottom of streaking’- Jonathan Agnew ‘On the first day Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off' - Trevor Bailey ‘Bill Frindall has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator’- John Arlott 'Strangely, in slow motion, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer' - David Acfield 'I'm not into caps with lots of diamonds on them, like KP' - James Anderson 'How can you tell your wife you are just popping out to play a match and then not come back for five days?' - Rafa Benitez on test cricket ‘I don't think we choked this time. We never played well enough to choke’ - Craig Matthews ‘Flintoff starts in, his shadow beside him. Where else would it be?’- Henry Blofeld ‘I once delivered a simple ball, which I was told, had it gone far enough, would have been considered a wide’ - Lewis Carroll
For over 50 years, Test Match Special has provided listeners with every Test cricket ball, batting average, and planety of views from the boundary, too. But how well do you know your cricket? Pit your wits against Aggers, Tuffers, Boycs and Johnners – and try not to get caught out! Can you identify the most famous players from history, name that ground or reel off well-known (and lesser-known) stats and facts. And of course, what Test Match Special would be complete without the gaffes, giggles, cakes and celebrity guests who make up a day at the cricket? With over 3,000 mind-bending puzzles about every aspect of the sport and beyond, this is the ultimate test of any cricket fan's true average.
The quintessentially English cricket commentator, writer, oenophile, bon viveur, collector and national treasure, fondly known as “Blowers”, tells his riveting life story.
For over half a century, Henry Blofeld has conveyed his unfailing enthusiasm for the game of cricket as a much loved broadcaster and journalist. His characteristically patrician tones, overlaid with those of the bon viveur, have delighted listeners to the BBC's Test Match Special where the personality of the broadcaster comes second only to a deep knowledge of the game and its players. With his engaging conversational tone it is easy to see why listeners feel as if they are actually at the Test match watching in Henry's friendly company. Now that 'Blowers' has decided to declare his TMS innings closed, his book reveals the secrets of life in the commentary box and of the rich cast of characters with whom he shared it, from the early days of John Arlott and Brian Johnson to Aggers and new boys Boycott, Swann, Vaughan and Tuffers. Henry is equally revealing of his own performances and self-deprecatingly recalls his several verbal misfortunes while live broadcasting. Like the greatest commentators and writers on the game Blofeld has always understood that there is a world beyond the cricket field. Not forgetting pigeons passing, red buses and much loved cricket grounds, Henry Blofeld writes of his favourite countries, and experiences while travelling, and meeting and interviewing many cricket-loving celebrities. His passionate and entertaining book will become one of the classics of cricket's literature.
‘I am confident they play cricket in heaven. Wouldn’t be heaven otherwise, would it?’Patrick MooreBowl yourself over with this mini-collection of cricket humour – the very best quips and quotes for lovers of the gentleman’s game.
A bumper collection of the funniest anecdotes, jokes and stories from cricket's best-loved personalities. Cricket is a funny old game -- even when rain stops play! Now you can read not only the most popular stories by five of the game's all-time great characters -- Richie Benaud, Dickie Bird, Henry Blofeld, Brian Johnston and Fred Trueman - but also the humour and insights of modern players including Michael Atherton, Andrew Flintoff, Darren Gough, Kevin Pietersen and Shane Warne. Crammed full of dozens of hilarious anecdotes about legendary Test cricketers such as Ian Botham, Geoffrey Boycott, Denis Compton, Michael Holding and Merv Hughes -- plus broadcasting gaffes, sledging, short-sighted umpires and the first male streaker at Lord's!
As ‘the voice of darts’, the inimitable Sid Waddell helped transform it from an unfashionable pub game to a massively successful international sport. His uninhibited enthusiasm, classical allusions and memorable one-liners endeared him to millions. His son Dan Waddell grew up in this smoky, boozy world and witnessed Sid’s turbulent journey from failed novelist and struggling TV producer to much-loved television personality. We Had Some Laughs is Dan’s warm, moving and funny account of Sid’s colourful life and career and a son’s memories of an unconventional dad. It is also a celebration of a way of life and a story of loss – of people, places and times now gone or changed for ever. But, most of all, it’s a story about fathers and sons, and the unshakeable bond between them.
In 1957 a whole day's play of a Test Match was broadcast on BBC Radio for the first time with the slogan 'Don't miss a ball, we broadcast them all'. This book celebrates 50 years of Test Match Special with anecdotes, behind-the-scenes stories, photos, reminiscences and champagne moments from five decades of top-quality cricket commentary. Sprinkled throughout are 'My First TMS Match' articles by a number of the programme's main contributors, including Jonathan Agnew, Harsha Bhogle, Henry Blofeld, Tony Cozier, Angus Fraser, Bill Frindall, Gerald de Kock, Simon Mann, Vic Marks, Christopher Martin-Jenkins, Jim Maxwell, Shilpa Patel, Mike Selvey, Donna Symmonds and Bryan Waddle. Edited by Peter Baxter, the organising brain behind TMS and the programme's producer for 34 years, this is a comprehensive and celebratory account of this most respected and prestigious brand in cricket and an essential read for all fans of the game.
For 34 years from 1973 Peter Baxter was BBC producer of the hugely popular Test Match Special, and during that time he reported on Test matches from around the world. This funny and revealing book takes us behind the scenes as Baxter and his much-loved TMS colleagues do battle with local conditions and sometimes bizarre red tape to bring back home the latest news of England's progress (or otherwise) on the field. It should have been straightforward, but somehow it rarely was...
Adolf Hitler despised cricket, considering it un-German and decadent. And Berlin in 1937 was not a time to be going against the Fuhrerâe(tm)s wishes. But hot on the heels of the 1936 Olympics, an enterprising cricket fanatic of enormous bravery, Felix Menzel, somehow persuaded his Nazi leaders to invite an English team to play his motley band of part-timers. That team was the Gentlemen of Worcestershire, an ill-matched group of mavericks, minor nobility, ex-county cricketers, rich businessmen and callow schoolboys âe" led by former Worcestershire CC skipper Major Maurice Jewell. Ordered âe~not to loseâe(tm) by the MCC, Jewell and his men entered the 'Garden of Beasts' to play two unofficial Test matches against Germany. Against a backdrop of repression, brutality and sporadic gunfire, the Gents battled searing August heat, matting pitches, the skill and cunning of Menzel, and opponents who didn't always adhere to the laws and spirit of the game. The tour culminated in a match at the very stadium which a year before had witnessed one of sport's greatest spectacles and a sinister public display of Nazi might. Despite the shadow cast by the cataclysmic conflict that was shortly to engulf them, Dan Waddell's vivid and detailed account of the Gentlemen of Worcestershire's 1937 Berlin tour is a story of triumph: of civility over barbarity, of passion over indifference and hope over despair.
This book showcases the best and most humorous quotes from George R.R. Martin's favourite character Tyrion Lannister, the worldly, jaded, funny, highly intelligent, cynical, womanizing star of the books. A perfect stocking-filler for every fan of the books, and of HBO's award-winning television series.
“A mock self-help book designed not to help but to provoke; a chapbook to inveigle us into thinking about who we are and how we got into this mess.” —Los Angeles Times Book ReviewPublished at the height of the 1980s self-help boom, Lost in the Cosmos is Percy’s unforgettable riff on the trend that swept the nation. Filled with quizzes, essays, short stories, and diagrams, Lost in the Cosmos is a laugh-out-loud spin on a familiar genre that also pushes readers to serious contemplation of life’s biggest questions. One part parody and two parts philosophy, Lost in the Cosmos is an enlightening guide to the dilemmas of human existence, and an unrivaled spin on self-help manuals by one of modern America’s greatest literary masters.
'Hughes takes us on a breathless tour through cricket history, the great players, personalities, matches and events. He never slackens pace or dwells on the dry details of the scoreboard.' - The Times From the William Hill Award-Winning author of A Lot of Hard Yakka comes Cricket's Greatest Rivalry: A History of the Ashes in 10 Matches, a fast-paced, distinctive history of the iconic, 135-year-old cricketing rivalry between England and Australia. The new paperback edition is completely revised and updated to include the tumultuous two series of 2013-2014, which saw more more twists and turns in this enthralling contest. No other sport has a fixture like the Ashes. From the early 1880s the rivalry between these two great sporting nations has captured the public imagination and made sporting legends of its stars. Commentator, analyst and award-winning cricket historian Simon Hughes tells the story of the ten seminal series that have become the stuff of sporting folklore. Cricket's Greatest Rivalry places you right at the heart of the action of each pivotal match, explaining the social context of the time, the atmosphere of the crowd and the background and temperaments of the players that battled in both baggy green and blue caps. Simon starts his story at the very birth of the Ashes and tells the tale of the band of Australians that took on the best gentleman and players in the Empire's HQ and beat them on their home turf. That momentous occasion set the tone for some epic contests including: The thrilling 1902 Test at Old Trafford, which was one by a mere three runs. The incredible innings of Hobbs and Sutcliffe in front of a tense and packed Oval in 1926. The legendary 'bodyline' series of Jardine, Larwood, Bradman et al in 1933. The incredible run chase in 1948 that also saw Bradman's last test. England's reprise in the fifth test of 1953 when Lock, Trueman, Bailey and Hutton steered the hosts to a whirlwind victory. The fearsome pace attack from the likes of Lillie and Thompson that transformed the contest in the first Test of 1974 and shaped the Ashes as a tournament for decades to come. Botham's Ashes in 1981 that restored pride in a sports-mad nation. The match up at old Trafford where the magic of one Shane Warne sent shockwaves through the game. And finally the breaking of the Aussie stranglehold in 2005, when Flintoff, Pietersen and Vaughan did the seemingly impossible and re-established the greatest of rivalries. The book also includes complete statistics and records of all the Ashes fixtures and results and much, much more!
As the BBC's cricket correspondent, Joanathan Agnew presents an upfront account of England's tests at home and abroad since 1991, and of his own metamorphosis from player to fully-fledged member of the "rat pack." He offers strong, sometimes surprising views on England's fluctuating fortunes during this period, and sheds light on some of the controversial issues of the day, such as ball-tampering and intimidatory bowling, and provides off-field anecdotes.
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet first hit our screens in 1984 and quickly became one of Britains best-loved dramas. Such was the popularity of the show, which followed the lives of three builders from Newcastle who travel to Germany in a desperate search for work, the cast shot to stardom and became house-hold names almost overnight. 2002 saw Jimmy Nail, Kevin Whately and the rest of the Auf Wiedersehen, Pet cast returning to our screens sixteen years after the last episode was filmed. Broadcast on BBC1, the first episode of the new series attracted a staggering 12 million viewers and a 47% audience share. Written with the full co-operation of series creator Franc Roddam and writers Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais, The Complete 'Auf Wiedersehen, Pet' Story will contain a detailed history of the show, unseen material from the series and interviews with cast and crew.
A hilarious collection inspired by a former Saturday Night Live writer's real experiences in Hollywood, chronicling the absurdity of fame and the humanity of failure in a world dominated by social media influencers and reality TV stars. Simon Rich is "one of the funniest writers in America" (Daily Beast)--a humorist who draws comparisons to Douglas Adams (New York Times Book Review) and James Thurber and P.G. Wodehouse (The Guardian). With Hits and Misses, he's back with a hilarious new collection of stories about dreaming big and falling flat, about ordinary people desperate for stardom and the stars who are bored by having it all. Inspired by Rich's real experiences in Hollywood, Hits and Misses chronicles all the absurdity of fame and success alongside the heartbreaking humanity of failure. From a bitter tell-all by the horse Paul Revere rode to greatness to a gushing magazine profile of everyone's favorite World War II dictator, these stories roam across time and space to skewer our obsession with making it big--from the days of ancient Babylon to the age of TMZ.
During one long summer during the mid-1980's, Tim Heald toured England, absorbing the flavour of at least one cricket ground in every first-class county, and a good many more besides. He wanted to discover the true character of the English game, among those who ate, slept and dreamt cricket in all corners of the country. The results are charming, heart-warmingly funny, and often surprising. In conversation with the kind of people who give the game its backbone -a gateman at Leicester, the groundsman at Swansea, a programme-seller at Bristol, a quintessential cricket-mad parson at Chelmsford -the author evokes some colourful ghosts, from the ubiquitous W.G. Grace (once punched in the face in Northampton) to Prebendary Wickham of Martock, and hears some strange stories -the Derbyshire captain absconding with the cash (and ending up as a tailor for the King of Spain); the Nottinghamshire team fielding in lounge suits; the match in which the schoolboy Douglas Jardine was reduced to tears by Gubby Allen's gamesmanship. The Character of Cricket is both a celebration of the national game and an evocation of a particular way of life -happily one still pursued in the England of today. "Cricket books should meet one or more of these necessary requirements, being either literate and amusing to read, or meticulously researched, or original in concept. Tim Heald's The Character of Cricket triumphantly meets all three." Benny Green, Sunday Times"First-rate stuff, in the great and ... timeless tradition of English cricket writing." Punch
As dawn breaks over London, the body of a young man is discovered in a windswept Notting Hill churchyard. The killer has left Detective Chief Inspector Grant Foster and his team a grisly, cryptic clue... However it's not until the clue is handed to Nigel Barnes, a specialist in compiling family trees, that the full message becomes spine-chillingly clear. For it leads Barnes back more than one hundred years - to the victim of a demented Victorian serial killer... When a second body is discovered Foster needs Barnes's skills more than ever. Because the murderer's clues appear to run along the tangled bloodlines that lie between 1879 and now. And if Barnes is right about his blood-history, the killing spree has only just begun... From the author of the bestselling Who Do You Think You Are? comes a haunting crime novel of blood-stained family histories and gruesome secrets. . .